World Autism Day – Our Autistic Life

For the majority of people it is World Autism Day but for us it is an autistic life. Two of my five children have been diagnosed with autism. We hear over and over, ‘How do you do it?’ We just do. We get up every morning, we get dressed, we make breakfast. We may have a few bumps in the road each day from activity to activity. Our days are just like everyone else only some things are little more difficult.

Josh and I have learned that parenting special needs means that our other three children feel ‘easy’ and sometimes they get lost in the shuffle of the day. They endure constant attention that needs to be made to their siblings. They are living in a world that is not ‘fair’, while they could never get away with a screaming tantrum in the grocery store (that would bring some major consequences), their siblings will be talked down from their anxiety attack. No reprimands, no harshness because some rules are bent for them.

They realize that they cannot just sit anywhere when an autistic sibling has deemed that one chair and spot on the couch is ‘theirs’, the green cup cannot be used ever and certain toys ar never be to shared (let alone touched).

They in turn are often the cause of many tantrums and our home can often be heard down the road from screaming children.

But this is all good. They are learning compassion. They know their siblings brains are wired differently. They can recognize that the runny nose and high-pitched screams are sometimes an overloaded brain that yells in terror. They realize that they are not the only family that deals with autism. They are being taught that to their brother and sister is DOES matter where you sit but I ask them over and over, will this matter in a week? No? Awesome, move to another spot, pick your battles because this one isn’t worth fighting over.

I pray that some of these irritants will be life lessons that can have a positive outcome in their adult lives. Maybe they will recognize that being petty and possessive is a battle not to waste your breath on. I pray they will be compassionate as they get older and not to pity but rather to understand.

For Peter and Cecilia…their siblings are the source of many of their daily frustrations but those three force them to be social and they force them to deal with people daily. Their siblings also allow them to have people they can always count upon. Their father and I will not always be here and I comforted knowing they will always have family to come back to as adults.

I cannot honestly say I am blessed that autism in our lives, some days I am bitter. I am angry. I try not to think of the children I thought I was going to have because truthfully we grieved at both of our children’s diagnosis. We silently grieve when they stumble or hit roadblocks due to their disabilities.

Yet we are blessed. Cecilia has been in therapy daily for the past year and she was our silent little daughter who now chats up a storm, she is funny, sarcastic and imaginative! We are so thankful for the staff at Stepping Stones and her worker Kaylee who is Cecilia’s miracle worker.

So today people will turn their porch lights blue (we won’t because the wiring isn’t competed there yet, lol) and think of those who are touched by autism, we will get up tomorrow and it will still be our autism world and we are okay with that.